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The young goober came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Jake, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Jake replied, “Did you see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. ‘We live in a great country,’ she announced. ‘One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.’
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, ‘I’m not free. I’m four.’
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.
She pushed him away. “Maybe your other models let you kiss them,” she said.
"I’ve never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.
"Really," she said, softening. "How many models have there been?"
"Four," he replied. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria.
"Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.
"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car." his co-worker replied.
"How was he going to do it?"
"He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and, well, you get the idea."
"So what did he end up with?"
"Ten years in prison."